I'm here Lord and I'm drowning....

It's amazing how much time you have when you're on bed rest!!! So, instead of absorbing myself in Ellen, and Rachel Ray (I love those shows!!!), I decided to spend some time with my Savior. I actually just started our church's Bible reading plan: "Read through the New Testament in 90 Days". I'm in.

I have to admit that right before I dove into God's word, I hit sort of a low point. Tristan and Cooper were gone, I was lonely and feeling sorry for myself. When I get down like that, Satan takes my mind to places I don't want to go. I just obsess over all the bad things; even things that happened years ago. "I'm drowning.." were my first words in my journal. "Why isn't Dad here to see my family?"; "I miss my sister so much it hurts."; "What if something happens to the baby?" and on and on my mind spins.

"Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law." Psalm 119:18

That was my prayer for my quiet time today. So, I opened my Bible to Matthew. Matthew 1-4 was first on the list. Here we go....

-Jesus was born!

-King Herod wants to find and kill Jesus

-Mary, Joesph and Jesus stayed in Egypt til King Herod died

-John the Baptist baptizes Jesus

-Jesus went to the desert where He was tempted by Satan - 40 days and 40 nights; "Away from me Satan! For it is written 'Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.'" Mat. 4:10

-Jesus makes "fishers of men"; "...immediately they left their boat and their father and followed Him." Mat. 4:22

Ok.. what now? I need something big here, Lord. I mean it was so neat how Jesus was born and Jesus fought temptation and I love how the guys left everything and went with Jesus. But, Lord, I'm here all by myself, I almost lost my baby (I thought), I'm scared!! This is all great but I'm drowning!!!

And then I couldn't help but think about Joesph. The dreams, the angel... He just trusted them. He trusted God - no questions asked. Had Joesph not listened to God, King Herod would have found Jesus and killed Him.

Just trust.... no questions asked. But Lord, I can't do that on my own. Exactly.

Father, help me to trust you-- no questions asked, just like Joesph. I am fully aware that I am unable to do anything without Your help. I humbly ask You, by Your grace, to empower me to follow Your word, for Your glory. Amen

Jesus, You're freaking awesome!!!!

What A Summer!!!!

Wow!!! What a summer!!

It all started when we found out we were expecting "Baby Nemo". Cooper came up with that one!! It was so exciting to share the news with family and friends with Cooper's Big Bro shirt. Actually, the whole purpose of the little t-shirt was for Cooper to get off the airplane in Boston where we were meeting Tristan's parents. However, one night while we were skyping with Grammy, Cooper runs up to me and says, "Mommy, I want to kiss the baby." Grammy was quite surprised and then we had to call Papa.

Everyone was so excited and yes, he still wore the famous t-shirt when he got off the plane.

Our Boston vacation was amazing. Grammy and Papa really treated us to a great vacation. However, Baby Nemo had other plans for Mommy. I was so sick, something I wasn't quite used to as I had absolutely no morning sickness with Cooper. Luckily, Tristan's parents were awesome and let me rest up at the hotel.

Then, we headed to Richmond, Va, Grammy and Papa's home. Tristan and I were able to take a quick trip to Virginia Beach were we got to see Dave Matthews in all his glory and splendor. Too bad we only were able to stay for a few songs. Holy Moly!! You needed a freaking gas mask.... it was so smokey, I couldn't breathe. Tris and I both decided it would be best if we left. It was kind of sad. DMB is Tristan's favorite band and he had been waiting for months to see them. But he was a real sport and a super awesome hubby through it all.

Next, we headed back to Richmond long enough to say goodbye to our little man. He was staying behind with Grammy and Papa while Tris and I headed home. It was so hard leaving him. He was asleep when we left. So peaceful.... so perfect. It was such a blessing, though, as Baby Nemo had me pretty sick. But just 5 long days later, Cooper came home to Houston. It was so great to see him. I think we just stared at him for a while.

Here's some pictures of Cooper having fun at Grammy's.

The rest of the summer was pretty much filled with throwing up, sleeping, and more throwing up. Not pretty. But the school year was right around the corner; Cooper was so excited about going back to Mimi's and I met my best friend Phenergan!!! Things were beginning to look up and I was feeling so much better.

And then the Thursday before the first day of school I went to the doctor for my normal monthly check up. After doing a normal pre appointment test I realized I had been bleeding.... a lot. All I could think about was that I killed my baby. Earlier that day I had a PE staff development where we played different PE games that involved running, jumping, etc. I knew I had done way too much but never did I think it would hurt the baby. After an ultrasound, it was confirmed that the baby was perfect!! 160 bpm, measuring 12weeks and 1day, and was quite the acrobat. I was one proud mommy and extremely grateful. The doctor then told me that I was on bed rest for at least the next week. I so didn't care!! I felt like I had won the freaking lottery. It was a little overwhelming that I would be missing the first week of school. But it didn't matter. Baby Nemo was.... still Baby Nemo!!!!!!!!!!!

And that's where my summer ended. So much drama... but in the end, so blessed....always.... so thankful.

This is Cooper doing his forward roll!! So stinken cute!!!

Better Late Than Never - Tristan's 28th Birthday

Happy 28th Birthday Tristan Ryan!!!!

I thought I would FINALLY share some moments from Tristan's little surprise birthday get together at La Cocina, his favorite Mexican Restaurant. After MUCH convincing, we finally got him there. He was definitely shocked to find the Denson's, Climie's, Heather and Chole Baker (all Chili's folks), Dixie, Avery, and Arcus, the Maas's, and of course Little Man Cooper and me sitting around the table awaiting his arrival. It was so much fun to sit around, laugh, and celebrate the blessing that Tristan is in all of our lives. Here's some pics from the night!

Right Here. Right Now.

God is so good. He never ceases to amaze me. No matter how much I try to screw His plan up, Jesus is one step ahead of me cleaning up my mess and working His plan. There are countless times in my life God has taken something that was bad or just ghetto and made it perfect. When I was 2 my biological mom left my baby stuff on the porch and took off. I haven't seen or heard from her since that day. As a mother of a 2 year, old who I am madly in love with, I can not even fathom the decision she made that day. But God knew... A year later my father married one of the most amazing women in the world.... my mom. She has taught me what true strength is, honesty and love. Just as Jesus has adopted us, the most powerful bond, she chose me. My love for her is immeasurable. God knew... He took what was devastating to my family and gave me a mom.... a mom that chose me.

His plan is perfect!!!

About 5 years ago I began working out at BONA Fitness, a local gym. I worked out there for about 3 months training for fitness competitions with a few of their trainers. After about 3 months of a 1200 calorie diet, training twice a day, and a month of jacked up intestines, I left the gym. About 2 months ago I was in search of a half marathon to train for and I came across the BONA Foundation 5k. So, I checked it out and sure enough the owner of BONA Fitness who I worked out with had started the BONA Foundation, a foundation to help fight childhood obesity. The more interesting thing about this is I had recently gotten 2 students (I'm an elementary PE teacher) whose BMI's are over 40. A BMI over 30 is considered obese. I had been racking my brain and talking with my nurse about some ways we can help these kids. I had to be far more than just coming to PE once a week (I know...once a week is CRAZY!!!). So.... I emailed my friend K with the BONA Foundation and told him about my kiddos and that I had to do and would do ANYTHING to help them. Every since then we have been developing the BLAST after school program. The program will work with these students who are overweight and/or obese and also with students who are in the "gap" (kids who aren't into anything and are having discipline issues). Long story short we have been presenting our program all over Houston and recently presented at the Fighting Childhood Obesity Conference. The people God has put in our path is insane!!! And today a doctor literally walked in my office from a local hospital and wanted to know how he could help me. We have been looking for a doctor to do physicals for our kids and to follow them through out the program, which will start in the Fall. Can you freaking beleive this. God knew that my relationship with this trainer was going to turn into more than him kicking my tail in a workout. He was going to partner us to help save lives!!!!!

These are just 2 stories out of like a gazillion of how no matter what.... no matter how much I messed up or other people mess up, His plan remains. I am so thankful, so in awe of Him.

Thank you Lord that You, who spoke the world into motion, care about my details. And I pray, Jesus that these details will always glorify You. Thank You that You have me right here, right now. Amen.

If you get a chance, check out BONA's website at www.bonafoundation.com!!!

I'm Back!!!!!

Oh blogging world how I've missed you!!! Actullay, I really haven't missed you as life has been incredibly busy. Trying to be the best wife and mommy I can be takes a lit bit out of a girl!! Anyhow, I am back with a new blog look, here to share my Beautiful Mess with you all. Let me cathch you up with a few pics!!!

So... Cooper turned 2 On January 19th and this was the birthday cake I made. Cute, huh!!! We had a blast at Inflateable Zone Katy jumping and playing around with all of Cooper's buddies and cousins. And he didn't even freak out when we sang happy birthday to him (which had been a regular occurance at other parties)!!!!

We also endured Cooper's first big boy hair cut. It was pretty uneventful for us. But for the older lady next to him it brought back some serious memories. She was litterally weeping!!! Afterwards she explained to me that seeing Cooper reminded her of when her son got his first haircut...... he's 30 now!!! Wow!!!

And so it begins... the journey of potty training. We have not officially begun the adventure but we are talking about it and he actually has gone pee pee several times. Wow!!! I just said pee pee on a blog... I'm such a mommy!! And I LOVE IT!!!!!

Sewing!! Lots of sewing!!! I started out just to help save some money on birthday and shower gifts but I have really enjoyed it. I get so many of my ideas off of makeitandloveit.blogspot.com It's my fav... lots of tuturioals and tons of ideas!

Here's just another cute picture of my baby boy. He's so in love with Avery (holding his hand in this pic). He prays for her almost every night. Apparently Cooper has several young ladies he adores... Ashlyn, Eden, Avery, Georgia, Gracelee, and Mommy of course!!!!


So, this is what we've been up to.... birthday cakes, hair cuts, pee pee, sewing projects, and love. None of it is perfect but always beautiful. Thank you Jesus. You rock!!!!