I have to admit that right before I dove into God's word, I hit sort of a low point. Tristan and Cooper were gone, I was lonely and feeling sorry for myself. When I get down like that, Satan takes my mind to places I don't want to go. I just obsess over all the bad things; even things that happened years ago. "I'm drowning.." were my first words in my journal. "Why isn't Dad here to see my family?"; "I miss my sister so much it hurts."; "What if something happens to the baby?" and on and on my mind spins.
"Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law." Psalm 119:18
That was my prayer for my quiet time today. So, I opened my Bible to Matthew. Matthew 1-4 was first on the list. Here we go....
-Jesus was born!
-King Herod wants to find and kill Jesus
-Mary, Joesph and Jesus stayed in Egypt til King Herod died
-John the Baptist baptizes Jesus
-Jesus went to the desert where He was tempted by Satan - 40 days and 40 nights; "Away from me Satan! For it is written 'Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.'" Mat. 4:10
-Jesus makes "fishers of men"; "...immediately they left their boat and their father and followed Him." Mat. 4:22
Ok.. what now? I need something big here, Lord. I mean it was so neat how Jesus was born and Jesus fought temptation and I love how the guys left everything and went with Jesus. But, Lord, I'm here all by myself, I almost lost my baby (I thought), I'm scared!! This is all great but I'm drowning!!!
And then I couldn't help but think about Joesph. The dreams, the angel... He just trusted them. He trusted God - no questions asked. Had Joesph not listened to God, King Herod would have found Jesus and killed Him.
Just trust.... no questions asked. But Lord, I can't do that on my own. Exactly.
Father, help me to trust you-- no questions asked, just like Joesph. I am fully aware that I am unable to do anything without Your help. I humbly ask You, by Your grace, to empower me to follow Your word, for Your glory. Amen
Jesus, You're freaking awesome!!!!
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