Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I'm here Lord and I'm drowning....

It's amazing how much time you have when you're on bed rest!!! So, instead of absorbing myself in Ellen, and Rachel Ray (I love those shows!!!), I decided to spend some time with my Savior. I actually just started our church's Bible reading plan: "Read through the New Testament in 90 Days". I'm in.

I have to admit that right before I dove into God's word, I hit sort of a low point. Tristan and Cooper were gone, I was lonely and feeling sorry for myself. When I get down like that, Satan takes my mind to places I don't want to go. I just obsess over all the bad things; even things that happened years ago. "I'm drowning.." were my first words in my journal. "Why isn't Dad here to see my family?"; "I miss my sister so much it hurts."; "What if something happens to the baby?" and on and on my mind spins.

"Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law." Psalm 119:18

That was my prayer for my quiet time today. So, I opened my Bible to Matthew. Matthew 1-4 was first on the list. Here we go....
-Jesus was born!
-King Herod wants to find and kill Jesus
-Mary, Joesph and Jesus stayed in Egypt til King Herod died
-John the Baptist baptizes Jesus
-Jesus went to the desert where He was tempted by Satan - 40 days and 40 nights; "Away from me Satan! For it is written 'Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.'" Mat. 4:10
-Jesus makes "fishers of men"; "...immediately they left their boat and their father and followed Him." Mat. 4:22

Ok.. what now? I need something big here, Lord. I mean it was so neat how Jesus was born and Jesus fought temptation and I love how the guys left everything and went with Jesus. But, Lord, I'm here all by myself, I almost lost my baby (I thought), I'm scared!! This is all great but I'm drowning!!!

And then I couldn't help but think about Joesph. The dreams, the angel... He just trusted them. He trusted God - no questions asked. Had Joesph not listened to God, King Herod would have found Jesus and killed Him.

Just trust.... no questions asked. But Lord, I can't do that on my own. Exactly.

Father, help me to trust you-- no questions asked, just like Joesph. I am fully aware that I am unable to do anything without Your help. I humbly ask You, by Your grace, to empower me to follow Your word, for Your glory. Amen

Jesus, You're freaking awesome!!!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

What A Summer!!!!

Wow!!! What a summer!!

It all started when we found out we were expecting "Baby Nemo". Cooper came up with that one!! It was so exciting to share the news with family and friends with Cooper's Big Bro shirt. Actually, the whole purpose of the little t-shirt was for Cooper to get off the airplane in Boston where we were meeting Tristan's parents. However, one night while we were skyping with Grammy, Cooper runs up to me and says, "Mommy, I want to kiss the baby." Grammy was quite surprised and then we had to call Papa.
Everyone was so excited and yes, he still wore the famous t-shirt when he got off the plane.


Our Boston vacation was amazing. Grammy and Papa really treated us to a great vacation. However, Baby Nemo had other plans for Mommy. I was so sick, something I wasn't quite used to as I had absolutely no morning sickness with Cooper. Luckily, Tristan's parents were awesome and let me rest up at the hotel.
Then, we headed to Richmond, Va, Grammy and Papa's home. Tristan and I were able to take a quick trip to Virginia Beach were we got to see Dave Matthews in all his glory and splendor. Too bad we only were able to stay for a few songs. Holy Moly!! You needed a freaking gas mask.... it was so smokey, I couldn't breathe. Tris and I both decided it would be best if we left. It was kind of sad. DMB is Tristan's favorite band and he had been waiting for months to see them. But he was a real sport and a super awesome hubby through it all.
Next, we headed back to Richmond long enough to say goodbye to our little man. He was staying behind with Grammy and Papa while Tris and I headed home. It was so hard leaving him. He was asleep when we left. So peaceful.... so perfect. It was such a blessing, though, as Baby Nemo had me pretty sick. But just 5 long days later, Cooper came home to Houston. It was so great to see him. I think we just stared at him for a while.

Here's some pictures of Cooper having fun at Grammy's.

The rest of the summer was pretty much filled with throwing up, sleeping, and more throwing up. Not pretty. But the school year was right around the corner; Cooper was so excited about going back to Mimi's and I met my best friend Phenergan!!! Things were beginning to look up and I was feeling so much better.

And then the Thursday before the first day of school I went to the doctor for my normal monthly check up. After doing a normal pre appointment test I realized I had been bleeding.... a lot. All I could think about was that I killed my baby. Earlier that day I had a PE staff development where we played different PE games that involved running, jumping, etc. I knew I had done way too much but never did I think it would hurt the baby. After an ultrasound, it was confirmed that the baby was perfect!! 160 bpm, measuring 12weeks and 1day, and was quite the acrobat. I was one proud mommy and extremely grateful. The doctor then told me that I was on bed rest for at least the next week. I so didn't care!! I felt like I had won the freaking lottery. It was a little overwhelming that I would be missing the first week of school. But it didn't matter. Baby Nemo was.... still Baby Nemo!!!!!!!!!!!

And that's where my summer ended. So much drama... but in the end, so blessed....always.... so thankful.

This is Cooper doing his forward roll!! So stinken cute!!!